Dogs and Dating

Love Me, Love My Dogs! 

Being single can be lonely and dating can be hard.  I am so grateful that in my single days, my dogs kept me well entertained, but also helped me in sorting out the losers from the keepers!

You are probably wondering why a pet photographer is writing about dating…well, allow me to explain.  Recently I was chatting with a friend of mine and she was sharing her dating woes and it reminded me of an amusing story, so I thought I’d share.  The dog lovers among you will have a good laugh – because I KNOW you will get it!

Setting the stage

You may occasionally catch a reference here to Meggie and Oliver, the two amazing dogs with whom I shared a combined 23 years of my life (Meggie died at 17 and Oliver at 19).  {I’ve included a few pictures of my “personal protection team,” taken a long time ago with a first generation digital camera, not great quality…but you get the “picture!”  Ha!}  At the time, Meggie was 9 and Oliver was 5, both were well-adjusted rescue dogs with impeccable house manners.  Meggie was an Australian Cattle Dog and Oliver was a Cattle Dog/ Terrier mix (i.e.: Australian terror).  If you know anything about cattle dogs, you know how intense they can be…after all, how else is a 45lb dog supposed to intimidate a cow?!

Anyway, I was on a first date that I VERY reluctantly agreed to.  The guy was nice enough, but I didn’t really feel like he was my type and I told him so, repeatedly.  Finally, he said that if I went out with him once and didn’t have a blast, he would never ask me out again.  How bad could one date be?

He met me at my townhouse, so I invited him into the foyer to meet the dogs while I got my coat…and so it began.

Oliver was slightly more obnoxious than usual, but it was Meggie who really surprised me.  Normally she was very aloof and quiet; she would look someone up and down, give them a sniff and then walk away.  Not this time!  She stood in front of the door, blocking any exit, and barked her face off.  So strange!  I tried to take her out one more time before we left, but that wasn’t it.  I gave her a treat, and she didn’t want it (Oliver was happy to take it though!).   I was slightly embarrassed by my dogs’ seeming misbehavior, so I made her move and said goodbye to them both.  She could not have been more upset.  Defeated, she hung her head, gave me her “don’t say I didn’t warn you” face, and sat to the side of the door.

I won’t bore you with all the details of the actual date, but let’s sum it up with three words – awkward, pushy, and uncomfortable!

Fast forward to the end of the date.

Mr. Not-so-wonderful brings me home and walks me to the door.  I try to make a quick escape, but was met with protests to invite him in for a drink.  “No, I need to walk the dogs.  I have an early morning” etc, etc.  To say he wouldn’t take no for an answer was putting it mildly!  However, I had absolutely NO intention of ever going out with him again, so I figured I could suffer one more hour.  So, stupidly, I invited him in.  Remember when your Mother told you to always listen to your gut feelings?  That’s good advice!  Sorry, Mum.  I didn’t listen.

The dogs were none too pleased to see this guy again.  We sat down on the couch, while Meggie sat exactly two feet way – glaring at my date.  Oliver was licking himself.  Then my date asks me if I was going to offer him a drink (Ummm, no?).  So I got up to go to the kitchen to get some drinks.  The layout of my townhouse afforded me a full view of the living room from kitchen.  My date, however, was sitting on the couch, and thus had his back to me.  As I poured some wine, he called out to me to ask me to call my dogs off.  I’m giggling away to myself because I was watching Meggie, still sitting in the exact same spot and still glaring at him.  What I couldn’t clearly see was what Oliver was doing.  “Why do you want me to call them off, what are they doing?”  To which he replies “staring at me!”  I peeked around the corner and saw Oliver with his head resting on the guys knee, staring intently at him…as if to say, “you will NOT get off this couch!”  I chuckled to myself and said, “staring at you!  Seriously?  You aren’t really bothered by my dogs staring at you, are you?”   “Well, they look like they want to eat me!”  I remember thinking that I had no idea what my furballs are up to, but I liked it!

“Oh come on, a big guy like you isn’t afraid of a couple of goofy dogs!”

Unable to delay any longer, I ventured back to the living room with the drinks and sat on the couch, two cushions away from my date, who I REALLY hoped would leave soon.  Oliver pulled out some toys and Mr. Wrong moved a couch cushion closer.  Ollie decided this was serious and went back to the toy box.  Date says I have an eyelash on my cheek (likely story!) and moves closer to wipe it off, closing my safe two cushion gap.  Meggie, still in the exact same spot, squints her eyes ever so slightly more – a clear indication that she is highly dissatisfied (incidentally, that’s classic cattle dog)!  Much to my surprise, Oliver really was on an important mission.  He pulled out the oldest, grossest, soggiest, nastiest should-have-thrown-away-a-long-time-ago toys he could find.  And then, one at a time, he brought them over and plopped them on my date’s lap!  He pushed one after another off, and meanwhile, I was cracking up (on the inside) because I KNEW that Oliver was as repulsed by those toys as my date was!  And yet he kept putting them back in the guy’s lap!  Our final exchange happened like this:

Date asks me to “put my dogs up.”
“Put my dogs up?”
“Yes, you know, in another room.”
“Yes, I know what you meant, but why?”
“So we can have some alone time together.”

Meggie, narrows her eyes another notch, as though she may actually burn a hole in his chest – I am pretty sure she hadn’t blinked once.

Yep, Meggie could be pretty intense, seen here at her Sweet 16 party

“Oh come on, they just want some attention,” as Oliver plops the grand-daddy of all nastiness, a large already chewed up rawhide bone, in his lap.  “Love me, love my dogs!”  I replied!  Still determined to press on, my date pulls the old I-have-to stretch move and puts his arm around my shoulders.  He then leans in and tries to kiss me.  What happened next will stick with me for the rest of my life!

Meggie, ready to do whatever is necessary at a moment’s notice, sits in the exact same spot – head slightly down, eyes narrowed, ears fully alert.  But it’s my wildcard, Oliver who stole the show.  Having used all of his nasty toy tactics and nothing up his sleeves, but determined that this guy will not touch his Mum, he does the only thing left in his power.

Ollie lifted up his leg and peed all over my date!!!

Now, this is a dog who was house trained in the first three days we had him and never had an accident, so it is very apparent that this was oh so deliberate.  My date, mission to kiss aborted, jumped up in horror and promptly stormed out, mumbling something about my bratty, untrained dogs.  Haha!  Meggie, satisfied with a job well done, rolls over on her back and wiggles around. Oliver, looking a bit sheepish, comes to my side to beg forgiveness.  I’d be lying if I told you that I didn’t praise him…but just a little 🙂

Naughty with a purpose!

Arguably, I should have never agreed to go out with this guy and certainly should never have allowed him back in my home, but I was young and stupid and didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  What amazes me, is how intelligent and in tune dogs are.  There really is some truth to the old adage that dogs are a good judge of character.  Was it that they had good instincts or that they could sense my apprehension?   Who knows!?  All I really know is that my dogs only ever truly loved one man – my husband.  In fact, I am pretty certain they singled him out long before I ever saw him as anything more than a friend.  They adored him and he them – and THAT is the way it should be!

My personal protection force

What are your experiences with dogs and dating?  Do you find them to be a help or a hindrance?

Until next time, have joy in your heart, a smile on your face, and a dog by your side!
Bonnie

• Dogs and Dating